Jo's Writings on Warfare and Love
by Lillymaeflower
Summary: Before Jo started writing to please the public, she wrote only for herself. I imagined her writing fictional snippets about romance, war, and antiquity, all of which seemed to appeal to her at the time. This is a story without end or beginning that I think Jo would have written something similar to.


Confused and worried by all the chaotic ruckus, I ran to my tower to look out the window. Beyond the glass, and the rain that blurred it on the outside, I saw what had the entire castle fretting, and what set me into a fit of internal anxiety as well: an enormous, endlessly marching sea of men, armored and on horseback, coming for us. Their roars and curses were so bellowing that I heard them through the rain, and the window pane, and the stone walls. Each and every man was a bulk of angry, powerful muscle with an array of deadly weapons hanging from his body and metal spikes protruding from his armor. The rain glinted on their steel wardrobes, but didn't seem to bother them in the least as they came.

On the dim, darkened horizon that I could barely make out through the downpour's haze, men were still approaching, one after the next. The army was not small, nor even big. It was massive. It was a gigantic horde of warriors, each of which could snap my neck with their bare hands. And the one leading them scared me most. Not because of his enormity or angry screams, or the flag of war billowing over him with his coat of arms sprawled in bright, slashing color, or his hollers and commands that rang loud enough for every single one of his men to obey. Not that he was ordering them to charge faster, and break down our walls, or even that he was by far the largest of all his soldiers and rode a horse thrice the size of the others' steeds. The scariest thing about their captain was that I recognized him. I knew exactly who he was, and what he'd come for, and what he was capable of.

For a moment I merely stood watching at my window, as the army grew larger and louder, with my hands trembling and my breath fogging up the cold glass. And then, in a flitter of terror that erupted within me, I turned and fled the window. I raced to my door, clutching my skirt to keep it from entangling my feet, and threw my door open. I raced down the vacant hall and flew down the stairs two at a time, my feet pattering their echoes lightly and quickly through the tower. When I reached the bottom, I raced around a corner, only to run straight into Keith, dressed in full battle armor. His breastplate hit my head with the full force of his strength. He'd been rushing, apparently, as I had. In a gasp of air, I clutched my forehead. A gust of wind escaped his lips, too, and he removed his helmet. His hair was disheveled, and his face creased with worry. He looked older than I ever wished to see him.

"My lady!" he cried. "Are you alright?" He didn't even take the time to apologize, but I blamed him not, for in crisis no one particularly lingered on manners. "Yes, yes, of course," I hastened, still holding my head. "Why is he here?" Keith put his helmet under his arm. I could tell he hated having to stand here with an army approaching his castle, but I would not be denied an explanation. I was being held here, and if harm became of me, King Hollandock was responsible. "We're not entirely sure. Obviously, revenge for what the king did to him. But that was years ago, and they made unstable, yet sufficient, peace. What has triggered such a planned and prepared attack so suddenly, I cannot imagine. He gave no warning, not even a hint. Our messengers never reported a threat of war. He has the entire kingdom rather treacherously perplexed." I wrung my hands, my breathing quick and unsteady. Keith looked a bit confused at my worry, then softened as he remembered what that man had done to me. "You… you've been here so long, I'd nearly forgotten your past, my lady." "That's… that's fine," I murmured, lost in horrified thought. Keith bowed slightly and retreated a step, sliding his helmet back on and adjusting it.

"Do hurry to the dungeons, my lady. The queen and princesses are being held there under heavy guard. Join them with haste, so you stay safe." It took me a moment to process what he'd said. "The dungeon?" I sputtered. "But what about everyone else?" "The women of the castle are all being locked away in rooms, and the king is leaving through the secret exits to our hidden shelter in the forest. After the attack has begun, fighting will mask your party as you and the royal women follow suit and escape." "But what of the prince?" I blurted before I could stop myself.

Now, Keith was a smart man. I was very aware of his observant gaze that sucked up every detail, and his experienced ability to read a situation without overhearing a word. Therefore, I knew he suspected a relationship between me and Dimitri that went beyond a respectful politeness, and in blurting that question I'd probably signed the guarantee that word would flow from Keith's lips to King Hollandock's ear that the attic mouse had a liking for the prince of Nelendarfth. I couldn't see Keith's face due to his helmet, but his voice was strained. "He will fight." My throat closed immediately. I fought to maintain my composure, but could not. "He'll be killed," was all I could manage, staring at Keith with huge eyes. He took a breath as if to speak, but I rushed at him in flurry, pounding a fist on his breastplate. "Where is he?"

Not so much as flinching, Keith took my hand from his chest and pulled it gently toward the dungeon stairwell. "Go to safety, my lady." "No," I cried, wrenching my hand away. "You can't let him fight! He is your prince! He'll die!" "Prince Dimitri is a good fighter," Keith answered coolly, taking my arm again. "Now please, come, I haven't time for this." I pulled my hand back again, harder this time, as he'd been holding me tighter. "You don't have time to ensure the safety of the heir to the throne of Nelendarfth?" "I can assure you, the prince will be perfectly safe." He reached for me again, but I stepped away. "In battle? Against those men?" Keith sighed in frustration and reached for me once more. "Please try to see the seriousness of this, my lady. Emotions are secondary to war. As able-bodied prince, it is his duty to protect his kingdom." I stepped back again, getting more stubborn and angry. "It is your duty, as a general of the king, to protect the royal family!"

Finally, Keith growled furiously in a way that made me tremble, and came to me in two long strides. He seized my shoulders and began guiding me back down the hall. "Forgive me, my lady," he said, clearly irritated at my obstinacy, "but I was told to ensure that all the women of the royal household were safe. Had you been mildly easier, I would not have had to handle you in such a manner." I scowled in fury, then suddenly realized something. I was a woman. Unless I committed a serious crime, Keith could not harm me. Fear bubbling in my chest, and a single thought ringing through my head— _this is stupid, this is stupid, this is stupid_ —I bucked my whole body and kicked Keith in the knee with all my might. I prepared for him to buckle, and for a hasty apology to gush from my mouth, but my leg simply skimmed off the steel of his armor. Keith stopped abruptly, and I froze as I realized I had failed and revealed myself, both at once.

"My lady," Keith began, his voice angry and implying very much that he wished he didn't need to address me as such, "there is nothing you can do to help the prince. He is in the armory dressing for combat, so therefore you cannot"—Nothing more needed to be said. I whirled in Keith's grip so that I was facing him, then reached up and pulled his helmet off. "What"—he began, but I punched him in the nose before anything more could be said. He jumped back, more in shock than in pain, and I flew into a sprint, dropping the heavy helmet with a reverberating clang as I sped away. _The armory._ Dimitri was in the armory.

My feet pounding in time with my breath, I reached the hall where the massive chamber was located. Making a slippery turn, I sped into the room and skidded to a stop at the sight that met my eyes. Thousands of men were crowded inside, yelling and shouting orders and grabbing weapons off the wall. The sound of crackling chainmail and clanging armor and swords slipping into sheaths was deafening. No one even noticed me, but I had never felt so small in my whole life than I did just then, standing in a room with several thousand men strapping on gear in preparation to fight. I was so incredibly out of place here, I was tempted to turn around and run back out the door, and do as Keith had told me. Hiding in the dungeon didn't seem too horrible. I took a deep breath, reminding myself that however intimidating all these soldiers looked, they were fighting to protect me. They would not hurt me. So I stepped into the crowd.

"Excuse me," I muttered, throwing everyone I passed into a momentary shock. "What's a woman doing here?" I heard someone ask. "She comin' to give her sweetheart a good luck kiss, hey?" one snickered. I gave him a dirty look, but he didn't do anything but slap his friend on the chest. His friend laughed as he winked at me and hefted a spear. "Good to keep moods light, hey mouse? War ain't too fun unless you can laugh a little." "War ain't too fun at all," a new voice growled. "You fools shouldn't be takin' it so easy." I couldn't find the speaker because many of them were wearing helmets now, but I fully agreed. "We at least got the women to return to," the first man said, eyeing me approvingly. I curled my lip, but didn't dare say anything. Another man spat, the gob landing dangerously close to me. "Aye, 'cept I'll be comin' home to no wife and three new children, if I's away long enough," he announced loudly. The men hooted loudly, and I tried to back away, but the crowd was too thick. Finally, I excused myself and pushed forcefully past several armored men until I entered a tamer group of soldiers. Swallowing hard, I continued through the sea of men, heart thumping, until I heard a deep voice. "Elizabeth!" I nearly cried with relief at the sound, turning to find the source. Finally my eyes landed upon a broad-shouldered figure approaching me. At first, I wondered who it was, and where Dimitri was. But then I realized that the strong-looking man striding towards me _was_ Dimitri. My breath suddenly left me all in a rush as I took him in. He was dressed in full battle armor, with a chainmail vest and hood, a suit of tarnished armor, and a bruised helmet. At his hip hung a sword and two knives, and the only thing I could see of him that allowed me to recognize him were his eyes. Otherwise, he looked a way I had never seen him before.

Despite his worn armor, undoubtedly so he could not be easily recognized as prince and therefore targeted, he had never really looked princely to me. Never so powerful and mature, but always more of an equal. Now, here, I had to be perfectly honest. He scared me like this. He looked like he could, in fact, go hand-to-hand with every man in the attacking army—even their leader—and win. He looked like a man. And suddenly, all those teasing threats he'd so casually thrown out came rushing back to me. My hands started to tremble at the realization that I had disregarded them, but all this time, he'd been capable of carrying out every word he said. I cowered a tiny bit from my thought process, and he stopped short. "Looks that good? That you'd shy away?" Immediately I fumbled to collect myself, but Dimitri's teasing stopped there. He pointed to the door. "Out. Now." I froze for a moment, then frowned. "What?" "Get out. Go to the dungeon." I stumbled for a moment, then scowled. "No." "Yes, Elizabeth. Do as I say." "No! The next person who tells me to go to the dungeon is getting hit." "Go to the dungeon," he repeated, his voice low. I lifted my hand, trying to fight playfulness, but his tone stopped me dead.

"This is not the time to be stubborn, Elizabeth. This is very, very serious. I would expect you, of all people, to see that." I was still for a moment. Dimitri was never so sober with me. "I… I do see it," I stammered. "That's why I'm here. You can't fight, Dimitri. You'll"—"I can do whatever I wish. Do not make the mistake of thinking that yours is the place that commands my actions. I shall fight, and you cannot persuade me to do otherwise. Go to the dungeon, Elizabeth, where you may be safe." Again, I was dumbstruck. Dimitri was not an arrogant person. He never used his royalty and power over me as an advantage in his teasing, or even his rare moments of solemnity. Yet now, here he was, telling me that I had no right to tell him what to do. That I'd basically punched one of his father's generals for nothing. Surely, the attack was a very serious matter, but I never knew Dimitri to be so grave. The change in him when responsibility was weighing him was drastic. "Dimitri, I will not go to the dungeon, and sit safely down in the dark while you are up here risking your life." "Yes, you will." "No, Dimitri, I cannot simply"—"Enough!" he shouted, with a force that made me flinch in alarm. The men around us quieted and surveyed the scene. I felt my cheeks flame as I realized what Dimitri was about to do to me. In front of all these men. _No,_ I begged him silently. _Please don't embarrass me like that. Don't use your power like that._ But Dimitri was done listening to me.

"Elizabeth Jade Delonova, it would deem fitting to remind you that you are a prisoner of my father, King Hollandock, and a prisoner of Nelendarfth." His voice boomed through the armory, and his words stabbed me. He had never acknowledged me that way before, and all these people were watching… I had probably never been so humiliated. "Therefore," Dimitri continued with a deep, resounding bellow, "I am your prince, and I command you to banish yourself to my dungeons and do whatever the guards stationed there order of you until further notification. If you dare to disobey, you shall be exiled from Nelendarfth and forever break the peace between kingdoms that you were sent here to bring. Am I understood?"

After he was finished, the room was silent. I was frozen, agape and angrier than I'd been in years. "Answer me!" Dimitri shouted. My knees trembling and fists so tight that my nails broke my palms, I dipped into a clumsy curtsy, barely able to speak. "Yes, your Royal Highness." And without another word, I turned and fled, not allowing myself to cry until I was out of the room and down the hall. There, I stopped, holding my face in my hands, and sobbed with embarrassment and hurt. How could Dimitri ever treat me so? I understood his worry, and angst, and certainly the threat of battle that darkened him. But to shout at me before all those men was unforgivable. No matter his intentions.

And suddenly, down the hall, who should approach but Keith. I looked up, saw who it was, and retreated in terror at the same time that he advanced in anger. But upon realizing my tears, he took a breath and softened. "Oh, dear." He shook his head sadly. "The prince doesn't have time right now, my lady. I told you, but you would not listen." I noticed his nose was not crooked, but had a stain of dried blood that caked his moustache. I swallowed and tried to breathe as he came to me and took my hand. "Come now, my lady. I shall take you to the dungeons, and never speak a word of your inflicted injury upon me to another soul." Choking on sobs, I allowed him to pull me along. I went numbly, then asked between hiccups, "You truly won't tell anyone?" Keith shook his head. "Not an ear will catch drift of it, least not by the passing of my tongue."

Not caring that it was unladylike, I leaned my face against the chainmail that armored Keith's biceps and cried again. He said nothing, but I knew he understood why I was so upset. I wasn't sure how I felt about his knowledge, but I didn't really care at the moment. "Forgive me for hitting you, Sir Keith," I murmured. He shifted as we walked. "I forgave you the moment your knuckles hit my nose, my lady. You are fully pardoned, due to the good intentions behind your actions. However, I must caution you not to act so brashly anymore. Had you hit another soldier, he may have retaliated. You would be hurt far, far worse than him." I was silent, trying to control my breathing. "I know." "Good."

Here we stopped, at the dungeon stairwell once more. Keith released me to the guards standing before the door. "Lock her away with the queen and princesses. She is to be protected at all costs." The guards nodded, then took me by the hands. I glanced over my shoulder at Keith as he turned and ran back the other way, already hollering orders to men in adjourning rooms. As the door swung shut behind me and the guards led me down the stairs into the abyss of the underground, a heaviness settled over me. The fight was beginning soon. And I would be sitting behind metal bars, cold and helpless and worried, waiting for the news to come of defeat. And death. And bloodshed to water the soil. Because there wasn't a chance for Nelendarfth's army. Not against him.


End file.
